Support ChocolateBrides! And groove at the same time!

ChocolateBrides is home to so many talented and inspirational people. One such couple are Skip and Renee, affectionately known on the boards as Poppa Skip and Mom Renee! In honor of the website that has blessed us all so much, Poppa Skip and his group, Skip Mahoney and the Casuals have produced a cd featuring the ChocolateBrides Theme Song. Please support this awesome group while also supporting ChocolateBrides as well!

excerpt taken from the Notes on the ChocolateBrides Theme Song CD baby page:

Skip Mahoney and The Casuals have on the R&B music scene for approximately 40 years singing love ballads with Skip's melodic falsetto. S.O.L.E. is a neo-soul group based in the Washington Metro area that Skip tapped to help him produce this project. Turns out their sound was reminiscent of Old School R&B, but with today's flair. Skip also believes this album is a first for an artist to release his original song with a new group remake and a re-mix from each group and the instrumental on the same release.



Chocolate Brides is a tribute to Love, but especially black love. It is a song that disputes the negative belief that African-Americans do not marry or commit to Love. Skip's wife is a member of ChocolateBrides.com, which she joined when they were planning their wedding. He loved the commitment and camaraderie he saw amongst the members that he decided to write a song for the members. He especially admired the owner/creator of the site, Kesha Monk and her husband Eugene Myrick. Kesha is a well known DJ in the NY, Chicago and Los Angeles area. It was Kesha's vision to create a place for brides of color to plan their unique wedding day and to share a special sisterhood and also allowing future spouses and significant others to participate in the fun. The site generates an air of family whenever it is visited.



The cd has the song in 3 genres, Old Skool R&B, contemporary R&B and instrumental (suitable for that trip down the aisle.



Sit back and enjoy this tribute to love.

Click Here to listen and purchase this awesome CD!

Pure Chocolate Splendor!

I was going to blog this beautiful story myself but the photographer, Shannon Smith of 831 Photography(Akron, Ohio) worded it so well, I simply decided to ask his permission to repost his blogging of the wedding of Stacey and Ernest! Enjoy!

Stacey & Ernest's Wedding

What a beautiful wedding at the Akron Civic Theatre. I was totally impressed with the style and organization of LW Special Event Planning from Los Angeles, California. LaTonya was super easy to work with, and kept everything right on track.

Stacey had a very unique way of receiving her bouquet - the women in her life most important to her each delivered a flower, and at the end, her mother hand tied the flowers into a bouquet - very original!

If you've never had the pleasure of visiting the Akron Civic Theatre, I'd suggest you make time! It's a very beautiful location, in the middle of being restored to it's original glory. The ceremony took place in the Grand Foyer, an absolutely amazing room with beautiful carvings, artwork, and lighting. The manager was extremely helpful, basically giving us full access to all the amazing areas of one of the most unique theaters in the country. It is only one of a handful of theaters in the US that have an ambient ceiling - projected clouds, twinkling lights, and a seamless look. You'd swear you were outdoors!

Thanks again to an amazing couple for letting us capture your day. Stacey & Ernest, best wishes for your future!

Shan

MochaWifey's thoughts:

1. Thanks again Shan, Stacy & Ernest and LW Events for sharing with us!
2. BEAUTIFUL use of the natural architecture and decor of the Civic Center! For CB insight on selecting great venues, click here.
3. The ChocolateBrides are LOVING the birdcage veils...click here for more pics and ideas on them!
4. Obvious great job on selecting a photographer! CB's, click here to view a beautiful slideshow of these fabulous Chocolate nuptials by visiting the 831 Photography blog!
5. Seamless selection of a great event planner! LA CB's, be sure to check out LW Events!
   

CB Notable Quotables : Chronicles of a Borderline Bridezilla Part 1 1/2 by CB Lilspyce

The following post was written by a current member of ChocolateBrides.com one year ago, prior to her May 2008 wedding! Thanks for the insight LilSpyce and Happy 1 Year Anniversary!

**************************************************************************************


For the past year and half that we’ve been engaged I have learned so many things about myself and about our relationship. Actually during the first six months I didn’t do any planning because I was still in the shock stage of being engaged and getting married. It was too good to be true. But for those of you who haven’t reached that experience let me give you some tips... Before you start, get ready because it’s a long one.

1. THIS IS YOUR WEDDING!!! Not your mama’s, not your best friends, not your sister’s. Do what YOU wanna do for YOUR WEDDING. If you want Big Bird to launch right off of the front stairs of the church and fly off into the sunset as you walk out of the church, call Sesame Street and get it done! The reason I say this is because we can be some really caring individuals and when our friends and/or family say they want this (in your wedding) or they want to wear a certain dress or they want vellum on the invitations, we tend to cater to them knowing that’s not what you wanted to do. Five years from now, you will still be trippin over things you didn’t think went right or you wish you could change, while that person five years from now won’t give a flying fluky! If they call you a bridezilla, sometimes that is more of a compliment.

2. Don’t get it twisted! The planning period is also part of the premarital counseling! There have been times I could’ve bust my baby’s head (forget about white meat) I’m talkin about to the skull! But I love him even more, because I’ve been blessed to have a man that wants to participate in this planning process (when I’ve heard of so many women that future husbands left it all on her). I already know it was times he could’ve choked me out. There are times when he will forget about something you asked him to do. There will be times when she’s snappy and you would think she’s possessed and cross the line of no return. Or times the Groom will not take something as serious as you. Don’t pay them no mind, relax, take a breather, keep pushin and work it out. If you can’t make it through this, your marriage will not stand as strong as you think.

3. Make sure you pick people in your wedding party who are they to TRULY SUPPORT YOU (this is so critical so please pay attention). It’s one thing to buy a dress and walk down the aisle. But the true bridesmaid/ groomsman(s) will call you (you won’t have to call them) and ask "what have you done as far as planning", "have you picked out a dress, if not let’s go find one", "do you need help with anything..." If they are late on their dress payment, they will contact YOU and let you know their situation (Guess what, there is no reason you should have to call and ask them.) I really have to thank some of my bridesmaids on this they have really been there for me and pushed me at times I didn’t feel like doing anything. Your true bridesmaids are like will say don’t worry about your cake server or bookmarks and take care of it, and help you out on 200 invitations. Or others will stalk and make you get out and check out bridal shows, dresses, venues, and work in a sweat shop to get 200 invitations done. Some, even though they may be the youngest may help out whenever needed and told me just to take a seat. Or some who has traveled on public transportation for 4 hours just to meet me at work so she can be with me when I bought my dress (how many of you have SISTER like that), designed my aisle runner and told me not to worry, stalked me about planning and also worked in the sweatshop. And even one friend who lives at least an hour away has called and asked "do you need help?", "I have some books for you".... My friends have their hands completely full, and came to me and said let me know what you want for a bridal shower, and are taking care it themselves as the others plan the bachelorette party. I’ve been truly kicked out of that process. My cousin sat with my sister and cut and prepped my table card numbers (they’re teens! I couldn’t get that from some grown folks!) His best man has jumped on the responsibility of getting the guys in to get fitted for their tux. Whatever I ask of some of my groomsmen they’ll do (ex: burning 100 music CD’s) Even my fiance's sister has told me, if you all need help let me know. Through my bridezilla times, they have truly been there suckin it in and having my back. That is what a bridesmaid purpose is...to support you and have YOUR back! The bridesmaid is the representation of support as your stand at the altar. And the bridesmaid will oblige to you because they truly care and are happy for you. So even if a person asked to be a bridesmaid, remember this is one of the most special days in your life. They don’t have to be in your wedding because they’ve known you for 15 years, hell your family has known you for all of your life, but there is a reason you didn’t put your relatives in it.

4. More Harm than Good. Some people may bring more harm then help. You will have some people who will call you and say I’ll help! But you already know they might screw it up. I don’t care if it’s your mother! If you think the end result will be poppin a cap in their ass, let them stay home. They love you and you love them, but be as polite as possible and tell them no. Make sure you have a team that mesh together on your "Sweatshop" projects (ex: favors, inviations, save the dates, etc.,.). Once again, no one is as critical to this wedding as you are-this is YOUR DAY. No one else knows what you want and how you want it but YOU. And once again, five years from now, no one will care but you!

5. Friends and associates. Just as this is a part of pre-marital counseling this is a trial between you and your true friends. Dealing with Tip 3, you will learn who your true friends are and those of you who I call "band wagon jumpers" a.k.a associates. Band wagon jumpers will jump on anything that is good, but when the goin gets tough, they find another band wagon to jump on. BEWARE because you will most likely see this. The one person you wouldn’t think would be a perpetrator.... will! I’m tellin you folks, people will come out of pocket that you would never expect! They have not come to the understanding that it is not about them. Fortunately, I already knew this coming in and some of my predictions were right so it’s not as hard for me as I thought it would be.

6. Stick to your budget!!! I’ve been watching a truckload of Bridezillas, Rich Bride Poor bride to learn to stick to your budget!! I’ve watched so many episodes where they took out a second mortgage, bounced $12,000 in checks, maxed out credit cards. You know how much money you have. If your income is $30,000 a year, why are you trying to spend $20,000 on a reception alone! If you want an expensive looking wedding, then get out there and hustle for it. Just because it looks expensive doesn’t mean it has to be expensive. Get out there and hustle, become best friends with sales ads! One thing I can truly thank my mother for is the teachings of budget shopping. On the other hand, I’ve also inherited the eye of expensive things. I can walk into a store and everytime I can pick the ten most expensive things in there. There is only a few things that I have bought full price- everything else has been discounted at least 50% off! Another way to save money, cut kids from reception activities. I know you love them, but do you really want to spend $30 on a plate that kids will play around in. Of course, the kids in the wedding should be invited, but a way to make sure all of the mature guests have a seat in your 250 room occupancy, leave the kids out! If you have open bar, you want to make sure that as many guests as possible can take advantage of an amenity you came out of your pocket for! Some people will complain, but then again....TOUGH TITTY! They can invite kids to their own reception (but I’ll bet they will second think that idea when they’re bill is coming out to $10,000! for the reception alone...)

7. DIY!!! For those of you who don’t know, DIY means Do-It-Yourself. If you’re like the rest of us that didn’t have a silver spoon in your mouth, this will become a term you will truly know. This will reduce the price of things tremendously. I’ve reduced my flower cost by at least $300 because we did the bridesmaid bouquets ourselves. I’ll be damned if I spend $20-30 on a bouquet for someone who hasn’t called me or been the least bit supportive just for them to throw it away in the matter of days. I might as well turn myself into jail now, because I’m definitely asking for a case. Screw that!! The cheapest invitation that I’ve found (that actually looked like a wedding invitation) was $130 for 100 invitations. We’re doing pocketfolds so if you don’t know we’ve saved at least $500 because we’re doing our invitations ourselves. It’ll be a lil more work but it’s worth it and it will definitely bring the more artistic side out of you that you didn’t know you had.

8. Don’t let no monkey stop your show!!! I don’t care if that monkey is your mother. Sometimes, the people that are dear to us, will cause us the most grief. Mostly, this is not done to hurt you, but some people do not truly understand the wedding process. There will be times, you feel like jumpin on a plane to Vegas and elope. Be calm, and remember it will be well worth it for your special day.

9. Internet vs. In-store. The internet is not always the best buy. I interact with a lot of brides-to-be (this is the time to plug Chocolatebrides.com) and they purchase everything offline. Don’t you believe it!!! Prices online look good but when you add tax and shipping into the matter, it might have been cheaper to purchase it inside of a store. One thing you will have to do is just window shop, price things. Research store sales. Ooooo!!! candle holders are on sale 25% off. STOP in two weeks, they will be 50% off. Become best friends with....
Michaels
Hobby Lobby
Dollar Tree
Family Dollar
Walmart
Sam’s Club
Costco’s
Paper Source
LCI Paper (online)
Hancock Fabrics
Jo-Ann Fabrics
Factory Card Outlet
Party City
Thrift Stores
Oriental Trading Company
Clark & Montrose Wholesale District (Chicago)
And of course....EBAY

Some of yall are looking like..."I don’t do Thrift Stores or Dollar Stores". Then you are a true fool!! FYI, those two stores are hidden treasures. A lot of their stock is overstock from big chains like Macy’s, Target, Crate N’ Barrel, etc., and there is nothing wrong with the product, it just didn’t sell well in that store or they ordered too much of the product. Especially check out the thrift stores in the "wealthy area". Also, check out and call some wholesale stores, if you tell them what you are doing, sometimes they will be happy to let you in their stores to shop. For instance I wanted floralytes for my centerpieces and they ranged about $39 for 10 (without tax or shipping). I jumped in the yellow pages and talked to floral stores to find them. I found the the lights in a wholesale store but when I called and inquired she told me to come in that same day and she would work it out for me. I ended up spending $40 for 20 and if I saw something else, to go get it!! Once again, this is where you learn about true hustlin. Anyone can go to the corner and sell a nick. But I can also, find some bridal jewelry that cost $85 but pay only $.75 on sale (that’s 75 cents) and I did!

10. Bridal Journals. Register with a bridal site so you can see what other brides have done (keyword: NETWORK). Get some ideas you may have never thought of. For instance (time to plug again), I registered with Chocolatebrides.com and I’ve learned so much from those ladies. In addition to that, they are supportive and encouraging of your wedding planning when no one else is, because they have been there or are still dealing with it. Create a journal (when you cross into that world it will be a "J") and post your vents, ideas, and pictures. A great way to keep track of what your doing. In addition to that you will get supporters that will keep up to date with your daily interactions of wedding planning. During this process you will need it. They’ll call and instant message you about your progress and will also send a "butt-kick" smiley when you ain’t been on the job. I love them so much!!! Not only that, it’s a way to swap items you purchased and don’t need anymore. Or someone might have just married and they’ll pass on those 10 boxes of votive candles they don’t need for free.

Last but not least, (actually number 1 to me) get right with God (not just you, but you and him/her)!!! He is our best supporter and provider. Things will not go right if you don’t have him in your life. There were times, I started trippin because money situations flipped out and I didn’t know what to do. God stepped in and said "I got this!" and made a way out of no way. I have taken money from one aspect of this wedding and invested money in something I didn’t plan to and he provided a way to still get things done! I have seen so many blessings in these past months that I lose my composure as I sit here and type this. If you open up and confess to God, you don’t know what God has in store for you. First of all, he has blessed me with such a supportive and loving man, he’ll do whatever I ask of him. Four years ago, as I set in a room, I had no idea that I was looking at my husband and two of my biggest supporters. How many of you can say I have girlfriends who will work hours on invitations into the morning, how many of you can say you have a girl who will jump on public transportation for four hours just to meet you so you can make a payment on your dress and then go home! How many of your girlfriends venture out with you every other day to do "window shopping" for your wedding plans. How many of you have girlfriends where you can snap off and then they’ll look like "who you talkin to..." and do whatever you TOLD them to do without hesitations. How many of you have friends that are excited about the fact that they’re booking a condo and going all out for your party!

Folks, your relationship will not last if you don’t put GOD first. Forget that, I’m just spiritual crap! I’m a believer of GOD!! If you don’t you, are leaving that relationship open for any and all negativity to come in. When that money situation get too much, praise and give it to God! When the people you thought were your friends start fallin to the curbside, get on your knees and praise God for blessing you with the few that will go through the fire for you (and then commence to kickin them to the curb). Let go of that pride and envious spirit and give it to GOD!!! When you do, watch how many things start fallin into place. What’s so ironic is a year ago my fiance and I gave it back to God. And from then on (even before that), God has truly worked it out for all of us.

Why Chocolate Brides?

"You know, as a black woman, I just don't see the point. Why do we have to be so separate all the time? I mean, you don't see Asian Brides or Latina Brides magazines, do you? I'm just gon stick with the magazines I got, ain't no point of us making ourselves MORE separate. See, that's what get on my nerves, black folk always got to be making a fuss about....."

Sound familiar?


I've heard this argument so many times in the past five years of my life in the ChocolateBrides family. Well-meaning black women choosing to tear down the self-pride CB tries to partake of in the interest of being unified with the mass media as a whole. For a while, I did begin to feel a bit ashamed. When telling coworkers what magazine I worked for, I would hesitate a little before stating CHOCOLATEbrides, and simply state that I wrote for a bridal blog and mag. I would feel a little, I guess racist, when I would finally reveal that it was a bridal conglomerate which catered specifically to African-American brides. Some caucassian coworkers did give off that "oh" face when I said it, while others simply looked like, "well isn't that cute".

This post won't be long, so let me get to the point. I was in Borders today. I bought my beautiful goddaughter a book to read and then we waited near the entrance for my husband to return from the restroom. While we stood there, in the magazine section, in the year 2009, I looked down at the bridal section and EVERY SINGLE cover, featured a caucassian-american bride. Every hairstyle was blonde or light brunette tendrils cascading over heartshape strapless bodices. Every face showed rosy cheeks with pale pink shoulders, and I had to admit, as I stood there, that it frustrated me. Not so much for myself, because I am nearing my fourth anniversary and through the help of CB, I found my own way. My frustration was for the others. The other woman who cannot seem to figure out how her beautiful loc'd tresses will ever fit the stereotype of the bride. The other black woman who's predisposition to voluptuous curves and bubbly silhouette tends to make visits to bridal boutiques embarassing and hurtful. The woman who does NOT have the resources nor the family structure to allow the lavish and over-zealous affairs written about in these other magazines.

I was frustrated and angry for HER.

ChocolateBrides exists because we DO need a place to embrace one another.
ChocolateBrides exists because we DO deserve a small piece of the bridal world that we can put our own stamp on.
ChocolateBrides exists because we DO have cultural, ethnic, physical, sociological and financial differences from the rest of the world.

And you know what?

That is okay.

It does not make us racist, divisive, obnoxious, or arrogant.
What it does is help us show the world that we are beautiful, frugal, creative, imaginative, resourceful, loving, loveable, and yes, dare I say it MARRIAGE MATERIAL.

So, the next time you find yourself in a conversation that asks, "Why ChocolateBrides?" please, for the sake of progress, ask, "Whatever would we do withOUT it?"

MochaWifey's Random thoughts "Get your head in the game!"

When I hear of a newly engaged bride, I usually offer my congratulations, some starting points on the wedding planning process, and OF COURSE hand them a copy of the CB Mag and a link to the messageboard {wink}. There is so much excitement in those first few weeks of engagement. The elation of being engaged generally propels new brides into a dead-on planning mode that is just full of smiles and relaxed joy. However, often by the time the bride has reached the first disappointment of the planning cycle; trying on a dress that doesn't fit her the way she imagined, or finding out that the church is booked on the date she's always dreamed of, there is some disturbance in the way she once looked at planning. Many brides will reach, "the wall", and just shut down. I can understand. However, as my mother would say, "One Monkey Don't Stop No Show!" Get up, dust yourself off, and get your head in the game! Don't let the disappointments that come with planning discourage you or knock you off track! Get motivated, remember why you're doing all this in the first place, remember it is okay to take a break once in a while, and then jump back in the game. Oh, and if you you need some more motivation, I know this great messageboard where supportive women will just take you right i-....oh, you already know that don't you? {wink}

Straight from the CB thinktank: "Is It Possible to Have a Wedding Under $5,000 (150 guests)?"

I say it ALL the time, CB will consistently swoop in with more than just ideas, but with motivation and encouragement. This particular question was really asked in a ChocolateBrides.com thread. Here is how the CB's responded:

DivaJag says:
"It's doable, but you're going to have to seriously reign in expenses. The first question to ask yourself is what is important to you? What MUST you have? What are you not as concerned about? Then look for ways to slash prices on the things you don't really care about.

For example, if you're not picky about invitations and programs, then get something inexpensive printed up (or DIY -- do it yourself) and type up your own programs on the computer (we have a template section on the site) and go to Kinkos.
If you're not picky about the reception, then consider having a morning wedding (with a brunch reception) or moving the wedding to a non-peak day or negotiate with the caterer to take some things off for a discount (I got free hors d'oeuvres at my reception because I didn't want the dessert the caterer was offering, so they made a substitution) or a potluck or a very casual affair. For attire, go to David's Bridal or eBay or buy a used wedding dress off craigslist. So in a nutshell, yes, it is possible to have a wedding under $5k, but you need to be willing to "think outside of the box." "

Zion1908 chimed in:
Sis, anything is possible. Granted, I'm not in ATL so I don't really know what down there would be affordable to you. But take some of what everyone else has said.

Food:
Light hors d'ouvres or maybe just dessert and champagne/sparkling cider

Flowers:
Limit to just wedding party members and get them from the grocery store or a wholesale floral outlet. There are instructions here on the boards for making fabulous bouquets and boutionneres from flowers bought at the supermarket.

Attire:
Off the rack, eBay, or have a trusted seamstress do everything.

Ceremony music:
If not CDs, then look into students at local schools who might be willing to play for free or a small amount of money.

Photography:
If you hire someone, only enlist their services for the ceremony and have everyone take snapshots at the reception.

Cake:
Grocery stores often have cakes just as beautiful as fancy bakeries and they're ALWAYS cheaper. We got our cake from a local market here.

Invitations:
Your printer and some nice paper. You can even catch those invitation kits on sale at Michael's, AC Moore, or Wal-Mart.

Location:
If you know someone with a nice yard, offer them a small honorarium in exchange for using their home. If you know someone who lives in a community with a clubhouse, or if you live in one yourself, use the clubhouse. The mansion where we got married was owned by the county as a park location, so since we were county residents we were able to get a discount. Check into parks and publicly-owned buildings.

Ask friends and family with useful talents to donate their services as a wedding gift (or at least negotiate a discount based on your relationship). If you can, barter services. For instance, my friend does wedding photography and she needed a website. So I did her website at no cost in exchange for her services at my wedding. We got professional photography for free! Also, let Craigslist.com be your friend. A lot of people out there offer their services on Craigslist for free or at an incredible discount just because they're starting out and simply want to get their name out there or add to their portfolio. This would come in handy in your search for a DJ or photographer.
* Don't get a traditional wedding cake. Get the simple round cakes from the grocery store and buy pedestal platforms from the craft store or bakery store in varying heights and set them up at the reception.

* You can even embellish them with those cheap flowers from the grocery store or wholesale floral shop that we talked about. You'll spend a fraction of a fraction of what you would have spent for a traditional wedding cake. And one thing my husband and I did was have our regular cake (which wasn't large enough for our guest count) and then a sheet cake in the back that would feed the rest of the guests. It shaved our cake costs because if we had gotten another tier on our cake to feed everyone it would have cost us much more. Have just a few rounds on display, and then feed any remaining guests with the sheet cake.

* Have everything in one place. Unless you have a hookup for the church or house of worship where you want to marry, you're going to have to pay a fee for that. Having everything in one place cuts down your costs because you won't have to pay one fee for the church and another for the reception location.

* Don't include RSVP cards in your invitations. Have everyone RSVP via phone or email. It'll cut down on your postage costs as well as the costs of your invitation supplies.

* If you can't afford an officiant, have a trusted friend or family member get ordained online and perform the ceremony as a gift. this may not be an issue for you, but it's an idea."





To see more of what the ladies had to say on this topic, visit the messageboard! This is what makes ChocolateBrides.com THE premier website for Brides of Color! The advice and love is absolutely priceless.

ChocolateBrides Love

The Heart and Soul of ChocolateBrides.com is the Message Board and the bonds created by the members who participate and share there! In genuine love of the board and the great love found there, one of our members, LilSpyce created this video for our founders Kesha and Eugene! Enjoy!

Pardon our dust, but remodel we must!

Please excuse our dust as we prepare to provide you with the latest and greatest in the Chocolate Bridal world!!
Coming soon:

The Best Summer and Spring Plans!
Guest Articles and interviews featuring REAL ChocolateBrides!
New and Interesting ideas for the DIY CB!

The writers and supporters of ChocolateBrides.com, ChocolateBridesMagazine, and ChocolateBridalBlog thank you for your continued patience and support and can't wait to bring you a new season of elegant, creative and fun topics!


Sincerely,
MochaWifey

CB Theme Highlight

A theme is the overall vision your wedding day envokes. Over the years, the importance of having a theme has become outstanding as wedding professionals and vendors have taken the route of catering everything by way of the theme and ChocolateBrides.com is no different. When I joined CB back in 2004, I had no idea that weddings had themes but now I can't see it any other way. CB Theme Highlights will be themes that the messageboard has found done exceptionally well.

Today's CB Theme Highlight is: Princess/Royalty/Dreams do Come True/FairyTale

Colors:

One of the most awesome things about choosing a royalty theme is that your choice of colors is endless! Almost any color combination can bring about some regality. Bold, bright, dark, or even pastels can make your day stand out!

Attire:

GO ALL OUT! There are no holds barred when you're the Queen. Go for that cathedral length veil or train you've always wanted. Visit sites like Ebay or rhinestonejewelry.com and purchase yourself a crown. Accent your jewelry and dress with sparkling jewels. Pearls, rubies, saphires, emeralds, and of course diamonds add just the right amount of sparkle and bling.

Invitations:

Scroll invitations are an elegant touch to this theme. They are sure to give your guests the feeling that they are attending a royal ball and not just your average wedding reception. If you're not feeling the scroll idea, many companies offer themed invitations as well. To add an extra spark of elegance, sprinkle gold or silver dust into each invitation and seal envelopes with wax and engraved stamps.

Personalized touches:

I created a royal crest for my husband and I, merging his love of music with my love of writing to be used on our programs and other special items. The personalized crest idea is really becoming a favorite with the royalty/fairytale themed affairs. Outlines and templates for creating your own crests can be found pretty easily by googling them!

Have a royal fanfare. Hire a professional trumpeteer to announce your entrance. If you don't know anyone who plays the horn, download a fanfare or pick up a cd that contains one.

Transportation:

Rent an old-school luxury car like a Rolls Royce, or book yourself a horse and carriage. Every princess deserves a royal escort.

Theme accents:

Castles, glass slippers, scrolls, jewels, elegant monograms,

big curls, crowns, tiaras, flowing gowns.

These are only a VERY few ideas...for more, visit the Chocolatebrides.com messageboard!

Throwback Thursday

Thomas and Valeria Gray

December 13, 1959

"epiphany1969" of the ChocolateBrides.com Messageboard writes:
Quick story - most of you all know that my father is now in a nursing home because of the damage from his stroke in January. He is unable to clearly communicate with us any longer.This summer my son started a project to electronically archive all of my mother's photo albums. That was the first photo that he scanned. I came up with the idea to put some of the pictures on my son's laptop and take them to show my dad at the nursing home. You shoulda seen how he stared at and studied that wedding picture. It was priceless. 48 years later - that love is still there.

And now, a message TO our sponsors...

I'm taking this time away from bridal banter to note that yes, the CB messageboard is down. The reasons for this hiatus have not been clearly stated, however I can assume that there are principalities at work here. Now, more than ever family, I need for you all to help fuel this blog and the ChocolateBrides mission. Help us to show the world what ChocolateBrides means. Help us to remind our beloved founders what ChocolateBrides means to us.

In fear of sounding too much like the ending sequence of the Care Bears movie, I need for you all to let us know...

What does ChocolateBrides mean to you? What has it provided for you? What does it mean to you that the board is down? and any other things you'd like to say!

Ladies and visitors, the doors of the church are open...please comment!

Stuff Brides Like

Sometimes we brides have to laugh at our own quirks. We know that sometimes we can be anal, obsessive-compulsive and maniacal crazies who will say and do some very ridiculous things to reach our wedding day. LOL Here's how CB spun the blog "Stuff Educated Black People Like", when I changed it to "Stuff Brides Like". Chill out Zilla, these are jokes...(well, a little of it might be true)

• Brides love to think that because their wedding went semi-successfully that they are now a professional wedding planner.

Despite the fact that their florist backed out at the last minute, their pocketfolds were a little over scale, or that they had to accomodate 50un-RSVP'd guests, brides love to believe that now they can make it all "perfect" for someone else. They will then try and convince you to try every failed idea they had, in hopes that it will work this time. Be advised, only about 4% of the bridal population go on to successfully plan and execute events. The majority of the field is dominated by happily single people willing to rake in the dough and think with a clear mind because they aren't trying to "fix" what went wrong in their own wedding.

• Brides love Hating other brides.

As above mentioned, Brides love to show that they are brides. T-shirts, tote bags, bulky binders, pre-made adress stickers for vendors, whatever they have to do. However, when a bride gets in an environment, i.e. a bridal show where there are other brides afoot, things tend to get a little tricky. Brides love to downplay or dissassemble the plans of other brides in their heads. "Oh, so she think lavender and pink are cute? I'm so glad I chose lavender and orange, its so much better". "She went with David's, well I'm so glad I went to House of Brides". Brides hate to see other brides in dresss shops and will silenty plan executions for other brides who even touch a dress that they had in mind while in the store. Also as stated above, brides love to be the center of attention and would much prefer that the dress store was open exclusively for them until the end of their season.

• Brides love smiling at their fiances in public and then wanting to strangle them in private.

Gone are the days where he is the apple of your eye. From the moment the ring touches your finger and you meet your first vendor, any dumb statement Prince Charming makes from here on out can get him pulverized. Examples of dumb statements:1. I know I said I'd get the adresses, but I mean, its cool, I'll get em next week.2. Yeah, I called the tux place. We got time.3. Yeah, so I know the wedding is in 3 months, but I think I'm gon loc [frenchbraid, twist, or any other newfangled thing] my hair. 4. You sure you don't want to just go to City Hall. I mean why we gotta pay for all these other folk to eat?The ALL-TIME worst statement for a groom to make: ***RELAX, CALM DOWN, or any other comment on her bridezilla tendencies. You need to be just as stressed as they are for them to even LIKE you during this time. Get with the program dude.

• Brides love to do anything they think NO ONE else has done or is doing.

Brides love to decide out of the blue that their colors are going to be something like teal and sunlight or tears and fire so that people have to say WOW when they hear it. Brides love to have birds escorting people to their seats or panthers lying at the foot of the altar so that people leave going, "now that, was a wedding." If their best friend wore white last year, they go and find an eggshell dress. If their mother wore a veil, she wants a birdcage. Anything to be different and stand out and a bride has to have it. Hence the ruby, onyx, pearl, and basically anything but diamond wedding rings that are coming into style.

September7Bride says: Brides will stop living and breathing if another bride's ideas are even remotely similar. I promise you, you won't die if a bride getting married 5 years after you has your same colors.Bridal traditionals are like fashion, at some point it always comes back, that being said ... just how original is "your" idea any way. If push comes to shove, consider it a compliment.

MzSlimmie says: Hmmm, although I am not yet a bride I would hazzard to say that Brides like to be the center of attention...and why shouldn't they? It is their day, the day they dedicated their hearts and lives to the man they will be with until death do part, so knowing this PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE never show up to a wedding wearing a white dress that is prettier or fancier than the bride's, for this will take attention from said bride and will likely cause you to end up in the hospital for an undisclosed amount of time.

MrsSmith08 chimes in: Brides like order. For their specific day to run smoothly, and on time. Brides like to send the entire bridal party (including flower girls) newsletters letting them know what to wear, how much it costs, how to style their hair, how much makeup to use, what lenght nails to have, what type of jewelry, where to be and what time to be there. If one person is not in place at the specific time...watch out To the bride, if one thing is not going well, ALL OF IT is not going well. So, the next time you accept the position in the wedding party, be forewarned and grab your calendars and pens. Forget your birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. The itineraries, schedules, and newsletters cometh.

Epiphany1969 says: Brides like detail. There is not just blue, there is royal, carribean, tiffany, powder, ice, etc. If you come to a bride with generalities you'd better be ready to discuss the fine print.Baked chicken? Will that have mushroom sauce, a spicy pesto, a marinara?Flowers? Will those be peace lilies or stargazer lilies? Will they be at half or full bloom?Gown color? Pure white, starlight white, ivory, eggshell, off-white, platinum, pale gold?

MrsMelton08 drops this observation: Brides, like to let you know they are brides. They will wear t-shirts, hats, bags, buttons, etc that says "bride" and then they will act surprised when you ask them if they are getting married. Yes, this might seem silly to you as they are wearing a hat, button, veil and t-shirt at the same time, but play along with the bride because although she loves to talk about the wedding, she does realize she has to wait for strangers to bring up the wedding to go into full bridal mode. Similar to the above, brides love to show off their engagement rings. They will cough, scratch their head, play with their nails and whatever else is necessary to be sure that you notice the ring. They will also eyeball your ring no matter how content they say they are with the size and quality of their ring to make sure yours is not bigger.

5 Ways The Internet Saved My Wedding

As, THE Chocolate Bride said, when you talk to your mother or other older family members about the wedding planning they experienced, it is vastly different. When I spoke to my mother about hers, she admitted that she and my grandmother basically ran to a department store one Saturday afternoon and grabbed a dress. Everything else they pulled into the wedding was done in-person with one-on-one meetings and contracts which were limited to a ten mile radius of the south side of Chicago She laughed as she told me that everything was wrapped up quickly that very same day and that they finished their glorious wedding shopping day with a mother-daughter trip to Red Lobster. When I got engaged in 2004, she thought it would be the same. She carted me around to some of the places she'd known about back in 1980 when she got married, but to her shock(duh, ma), most of the places had closed or didn't even sell wedding items anymore. Her biggest shock however, was how much things had started to cost! So there I was, my mother being the only real person working on this wedding with me, and in one Saturday afternoon her entire roladex of ideas had been expelled. What was a new-millenium bride to do?

I turned on the computer. Here are 5 ways the internet saved my wedding.

Personalized Wedding websites! - YAY for the creators of this concept! With a few lines of inserted text, you could tell your friends, family and even the world about your and your fiance and all the details you wanted to share about your upcoming day. Not only that, but after the wedding, you could showcase pictures and highlights of the day. What bride doesn't love that!

Weddding Information and Message Boards - I AM BIASED. I know this. However, I'm gonna say it anyway, CHOCOLATEBRIDES.COM made me the eternal bride I am today. LOL When you start planning your wedding, you need a place where you can throw out all your best (and worst) ideas without talking your bridal party and fiance to death. Not only does CB provide just that place, but they do it without prejudice of budget, skin color(yes we have white chocolate), sexual preference, wedding location, or style concepts. There are a ton of wedding message boards out there, but NONE compare to CB.

EBAY - With courage bestowed on me by members of ChocolateBrides.com, I pulled together about 45% of my wedding through Ebay. I even found that if I did a search for my colors or theme, I could sometimes find "lots" or bulk packages of things that fit my wedding! Flower petals, flowergirl tiaras, heck even flowergirl DRESSES can be found on Ebay. AT EXCEPTIONAL PRICES! A truly savvy ebay-er can even find their wedding rings and dress on the auction site. And while I'm on the subject Scaredy Pants, NO Ebay is not only an auction site. There are countless listings that you can "Buy Now". If you haven't caught on to the Ebay craze, get with it!

Google.com - Through google, I think I put my fingers on just about every wedding related website I could, simply by typing in the exact item I was looking for! It sounds silly, but there are loads of small or home-based businesses who ONLY rely on search engines like Google to give them the light of day. (I even stumbled onto ChocolateBrides by googling) Now come on, everyone googles, right?

Being Myself - Before I began cruising the net searching for ideas, I believed that all weddings had to be alike. We ALL have to wear the same kinds of dresses, with the same kind of flowers, at the same location, in the same month. The internet exposed me to so many different concepts and directions that I hardly believe I would have been a happy bride without it. Decorations, jewelry, attire, invitations, etc all came to my wedding through the world wide web. I can't wait to see how its going to continue to influence and inspire brides for years to come!

My mom was wary of my choosing the internet as my wedding planner, but in the end, she was only glad that in a few taps of the keys and some crafty phone-calls, she was able to have the same blessed planning Saturday with me, as she had with her own mom. And you know what, we still had Red Lobster at the end of the day.

Me and my Mommie - July 2, 2005

CB Notable Quotable

Being the owner of a social networking community doesn't always allow you to be just a 'member'. I wish that I could sit back and read and interact in the journals of the thousands of Chocolate Brides who log on daily - but my administrative duties won't allow me to. :(

However, every once in a while, I will catch something that will get my attention. This week, that something comes from the user 'Webmistress' from New York.

"...I just want to say that if no one has told you... there is NO OTHER COMMUNITY like CB. On the real. I'm not just waxing reminiscent. I've joined other boards for other reasons in my life lately and you can't find the sisterhood, spirit of helpfulness, genuine concern and general lack of cattiness ANYWHERE ELSE. I appreciate CB. It has given me a very high standard to hold everyone else to -- and really? No one is reaching it like CB."

Chocolate Brides Magazine Launch Party May, 2007

Be Like Nike & Just Do It!

The Chocolate Brides messageboard is a plethora of wedding ideas, support, and inspiration for brides all over the world.  After about a year after it's inception, I thought that ChocolateBrides.Com would put wedding planners out of business because the amount of help that brides were receiving via our board was invaluable. It even became common practice for brides to invite other brides from the board to their weddings in appreciation for the support! 

I'm not exactly sure how to explain it - but ChocolateBrides.Com has become a movement and has developed into something much bigger than a website. It's an encouragement machine.  The brides make you want to explore unchartered territory. I've witnessed women who have claimed not to have had a creative bone in their bodies make aislerunners, wedding brooms and cake toppers.  I've seen natural hair wearers try weaves & wigs and weave and wigs wearers go natural. I've seen women who have sat in cubicles most of their adult lives step out on faith to give entrepreneurship a try.  All of this has happened due to the loving nature of this website. The CBs sort of dare you to be daring!  I guess when 2 or people have a commonality, good things happen. It's amazing.

Ok...so I didn't intend to go into a ChocolateBrides infomerical - but I did want to acknowledge the latest challenge on the ChocolateBrides.Com messageboard.  Makeup Madness.  These women did an excellent job of applying their own makeup..and it's making me want to run out out to buy some eyeshadow and a brush.  First they fired their wedding planners...and now all makeup artists are in trouble of losing their jobs too!

Disclaimer - All of the following looks were achieved by the brides themselves without the assistance of a professional makeup artist - only each other!

    

There are literally thousands of posts on the ChocolateBrides.Com messageboard with beautiful brides of all sorts of hues.  They've even created tutorials and various question & answer threads that can help you achieve similar looks. Come on over and join our family!  And if you don't see what you're looking for - ask!  CBs don't bite!