Straight from the CB thinktank: "Is It Possible to Have a Wedding Under $5,000 (150 guests)?"

I say it ALL the time, CB will consistently swoop in with more than just ideas, but with motivation and encouragement. This particular question was really asked in a ChocolateBrides.com thread. Here is how the CB's responded:

DivaJag says:
"It's doable, but you're going to have to seriously reign in expenses. The first question to ask yourself is what is important to you? What MUST you have? What are you not as concerned about? Then look for ways to slash prices on the things you don't really care about.

For example, if you're not picky about invitations and programs, then get something inexpensive printed up (or DIY -- do it yourself) and type up your own programs on the computer (we have a template section on the site) and go to Kinkos.
If you're not picky about the reception, then consider having a morning wedding (with a brunch reception) or moving the wedding to a non-peak day or negotiate with the caterer to take some things off for a discount (I got free hors d'oeuvres at my reception because I didn't want the dessert the caterer was offering, so they made a substitution) or a potluck or a very casual affair. For attire, go to David's Bridal or eBay or buy a used wedding dress off craigslist. So in a nutshell, yes, it is possible to have a wedding under $5k, but you need to be willing to "think outside of the box." "

Zion1908 chimed in:
Sis, anything is possible. Granted, I'm not in ATL so I don't really know what down there would be affordable to you. But take some of what everyone else has said.

Food:
Light hors d'ouvres or maybe just dessert and champagne/sparkling cider

Flowers:
Limit to just wedding party members and get them from the grocery store or a wholesale floral outlet. There are instructions here on the boards for making fabulous bouquets and boutionneres from flowers bought at the supermarket.

Attire:
Off the rack, eBay, or have a trusted seamstress do everything.

Ceremony music:
If not CDs, then look into students at local schools who might be willing to play for free or a small amount of money.

Photography:
If you hire someone, only enlist their services for the ceremony and have everyone take snapshots at the reception.

Cake:
Grocery stores often have cakes just as beautiful as fancy bakeries and they're ALWAYS cheaper. We got our cake from a local market here.

Invitations:
Your printer and some nice paper. You can even catch those invitation kits on sale at Michael's, AC Moore, or Wal-Mart.

Location:
If you know someone with a nice yard, offer them a small honorarium in exchange for using their home. If you know someone who lives in a community with a clubhouse, or if you live in one yourself, use the clubhouse. The mansion where we got married was owned by the county as a park location, so since we were county residents we were able to get a discount. Check into parks and publicly-owned buildings.

Ask friends and family with useful talents to donate their services as a wedding gift (or at least negotiate a discount based on your relationship). If you can, barter services. For instance, my friend does wedding photography and she needed a website. So I did her website at no cost in exchange for her services at my wedding. We got professional photography for free! Also, let Craigslist.com be your friend. A lot of people out there offer their services on Craigslist for free or at an incredible discount just because they're starting out and simply want to get their name out there or add to their portfolio. This would come in handy in your search for a DJ or photographer.
* Don't get a traditional wedding cake. Get the simple round cakes from the grocery store and buy pedestal platforms from the craft store or bakery store in varying heights and set them up at the reception.

* You can even embellish them with those cheap flowers from the grocery store or wholesale floral shop that we talked about. You'll spend a fraction of a fraction of what you would have spent for a traditional wedding cake. And one thing my husband and I did was have our regular cake (which wasn't large enough for our guest count) and then a sheet cake in the back that would feed the rest of the guests. It shaved our cake costs because if we had gotten another tier on our cake to feed everyone it would have cost us much more. Have just a few rounds on display, and then feed any remaining guests with the sheet cake.

* Have everything in one place. Unless you have a hookup for the church or house of worship where you want to marry, you're going to have to pay a fee for that. Having everything in one place cuts down your costs because you won't have to pay one fee for the church and another for the reception location.

* Don't include RSVP cards in your invitations. Have everyone RSVP via phone or email. It'll cut down on your postage costs as well as the costs of your invitation supplies.

* If you can't afford an officiant, have a trusted friend or family member get ordained online and perform the ceremony as a gift. this may not be an issue for you, but it's an idea."





To see more of what the ladies had to say on this topic, visit the messageboard! This is what makes ChocolateBrides.com THE premier website for Brides of Color! The advice and love is absolutely priceless.

If You are a bride, READ THIS!!

Being a part of the ChocolateBrides Community, I've been blessed to attend quite a few weddings. Regardless of whether it was a wedding of a fellow CB who I've had the awesome pleasure of knowing through the board, friends and family members, or sometimes absolute strangers to which the CB magazine is reporting, I tend to see the same repetitive errors....so I'm gonna clue you in to a few.

• Number or code the back of your RSVP cards to correspond with your guest list so that you can tell who the returned cards belong to! I can't tell you how many people don't know how to properly fill out and return an RSVP card. Having a small way to identify their card will save you tons of confusion and time.

• At your rehearsal the night before, take a minute and jot down the order of the processional into the reception. It holds up YOUR entrance when the DJ or coordinator has to walk up and down the bridal party line with a piece of paper asking everyone's name, or making sure that people are standing in the same order as they are written in the program.

• Tell your DJ what kind of music, if not a specific song altogether, that you would like for your bridal party to enter on. I've seen at least three weddings where a really upbeat couple had to enter their reception to smooth jazz. Uncute.

• Clearly DEFINE and EXPLAIN exactly what you want your hostesses and helpers to do! I have been to quite a few receptions where hostesses were sitting around while friendly helpers took on the task of setting up the guest table and other tasks. I've also seen people who have no business running the guest list, suddenly being in charge of telling your Aunt Mabel where she's supposed to sit, and rather rudely I might add. Also, if you expect these people to set up ANY decorations, leave clear instructions about where you want things to be. You do not want people pulling things out of boxes going, "I wonder what she wants us to do with this thing?" No matter how much of a perfectionist or micro-manager you THINK you're still gonna want to be on your wedding day, you will not be the least bit concerned with these things. Trust me. Plan ahead.

• Since we're on the subject of the guest entrance table, make sure you have people at the door who will respect your wishes NO MATTER WHAT. It may mean them catching a few nasty looks, or evil glares, but the goal is not to make them popular, but to make sure that your orders are followed. Even if you made it crystal clear in your invitations that only RSVP'd guests will be allowed into your plated reception, it will go right out the window really fast if your cousin Peaches is at the door laughing and chilling instead of holding up the law.

• You do NOT have to allow any and everyone who asks to help, the opportunity to help. Woe to the bride who let her shaky handed cousin Pearline cut out the monograms she wants perfectly sized for her programs. Please, give Pearline a job that doesn't rest solely on her ability to hold scissors steadily and save yourself the heartache of having to wait until AFTER she's ruined all $15 worth of your specially purchased paper only for you to have to go out and buy some more and then cut it yourself anyway. There are times when trying to be nice, doubles your workload.

• Take your Maid of Honor with you when you have your final fitting. Not just because you want to "ooh" and "ahh" together, but because you need for this woman to know exactly how you want your dress fastened and how the bustle works! It would make no sense at all to spend that hefty fee for a glamorous bustle and then spend a half hour standing helplessly in the bathroom of your reception hall while your MOH tries to figure out what ties with what.

• Please inform your mother and mother-in-law that they are NOT to beat up the coordinator on the day of the wedding. As hard as it may be, the mom's have to realize that the way your day plays out is the way you've planned and coordinated with your wedding staff. Let them know ahead of time that they are not to grandstand and assert authority over your vendors or planner just because their baby got married today. I have seen TWO weddings where the mother of the bride and even one where a mother of the groom, who had no prior knowledge of the couple's wedding plan, came in and restructured seating, changed music selections, even changed the order of the program to suit themselves. Tell Mama nem to "saddown somewhere" or they just might catch a beatdown from your coordinator.

• If you hire a coordinator, hire one with thick skin. Your wedding day may be beautiful on the outside, but baby there are gonna be some battles underneath. People cuss, fuss, and act a clown behind the scenes at weddings. Nothing will be accomplished easily if your coordinator is in the bathroom crying into her hanky because Aunt Ruthie has cursed her out. Yes, even YOUR dear sweet Aunt Ruthie will act a hell's bell fool on her favorite niece's wedding day. Guests, obviously, don't know the work that has been put into a wedding or reception, all they know is what they see. Some guests, don't like when they see themselves sitting a bit of a distance away from your head table, or when they find out that they can't enter the hall until a certain time. And believe it or not, there are some guests who will totally flip if a coordinator politely reminds them that they have not RSVP'd and should stand to the side until they are approved entry. Your coordinator and staff should be well-equipped to handle any emotional outbursts. Take a good long look at her. If she seems like Aunt Ruthie would have her hemmed up, seek other arrangements for the day of the wedding.

• EAT! Your wedding is a big event. Your body is going to be pumping out so many endorphins that you just might forget that no, you cannot live on love alone, you need fuel. I personally forgot to eat at my own wedding and had a splitting headache until the next morning. Make sure that you have a small snack throughout the day to keep your energy up. You will thank yourself later.

• SMILE! (or at least look happy) People are snapping pictures from all angles at all times. You do not even want to know how many brides have seen pictures of themselves after the wedding and said, "What was I thinking about right then?"

• Be attentive to your groom. Yes, its the wedding, and its a big party and you have to greet people etc, but you just attached yourself to this man for LIFE, the least you could do is make sure he knows where you are at your own reception. I have seen with my own two eyes, grooms who are left sitting at their head tables eating while the bride is showing her cousins the new ring.

I would like to personally take this time to honor the life of a great entertainer and helluva Chocolate Groom Mr. Bernard Jeffrey McCullough aka Bernie Mac. What an example of great husbandry and loyalty. Mr. Chicago, you will be forever missed. From one Chi-Town to another, love you Uncle Bernie!

Someone Shoot the DJ

It was the most perfect day of my life. My prince had come and before God and 180 witnesses, we pledged our love to each other. We took enchanted pictures in a Japanese Garden and then planned to dance the night away with our family at our glorious reception. AND then....my DJ played, "Baby when I used to love you" by John Legend...What the Smelly Hell was on his Bird!?

This got me to thinking. What other musical faux pas have Dj's committed during other people's dream weddings? Your DJ can make or break your reception. One bad spin of any of the following and you can feel free to break his neck. Truthfully, though most of these are songs that I just KNOW are off limits, some of these were actually found on reception song lists! I give my own explanations for a few, you can pretty much add up your own for others, and for the rest, do a search for their lyrics...

1. She Used to Be My Girl - The Ojays : The LAST thing your husband of about an hour wants to hear is an ode to the love some other man lost in you. I know its a smooth track, but why would a WEDDING DJ even have this in his catalog? Bar fight waiting to happen. THE ONLY way I can see this one flying, is maybe your dad...but even then, you still his little girl so um...yeah.
2. The Way That I Love - Ashanti : Again, a club-banger song. However, the words imply that your new hubby ain't feeling the same about you that you are towards him. Not cute.
3. Secret Lovers - Atlantic Star : Are you serious?
4. Not Gon Cry - Mary J. Blige : If you hear this at the reception, look around to the tables for the girl sobbing into her salad. That, my dear is either an ex of the groom, or someone who is totally sick of always being the bridesmaid and never the bride. I'm a Mary NUT and will allow just about any Mary music to be played at ANY occasion, but uh, this will not substitute for a slow jam.
5. If Your Girl Only Knew - Aaliyah: Hearing this at a wedding will not only ask who is the L-I-Y-A-H but who is the M-I-S-T-R-E-S-S.
6. On Bended Knee - BoyzIIMen: Okay, so I know that the terms "on bended knee" bring proposals to mind, but goodness people, listen to the lyrics! This is a breakup song. He's begging for the chick to come back.
7. Who Knows-Musiq : We all love Musiq for great wedding songs, but this one is not one of them. This song is actually about him campaigning for a woman to take him up on the offer of a one-night-stand.
   
8. I Love You - Dru Hill
   
9. Anita Baker - Fairytales
10. Jodeci - Love You For Life, Feenin
11. Don't Let Go, Hold on- EnVogue
    
12. He's Mine - Mokenstef
13. I think its better that I tell you now - Jill Scott
14. I Can Love U Better - MJB
    
15. Float on - The Floaters
16. Just my Imagination
17. Don't Be Afraid - Aaron Hall
18. You Can Have a Piece of my love - Aaron Hall
19. You Don't Have to Call - Usher
20. Half on a Baby, Your Remind Me, Ignition - R. Kelly
21. Burn, You Got It Bad - Usher
22. Where I wanna Be - Donnell Jones
23. ANYTHING TANK : If you've elver listened to Tank, you know that the majority of his songs that have been released are "Baby please forgive me for cheating on you" songs.
    
24. I Love Your Girl - The Dream
    
25. Congratulations - Vesta

What I believe to be the culprit of these major bad music choices, is that people listen to the beat and the rhythm and pay very little attention to the lyrics of these songs. What may sound great in the club, does not a reception song make. Even if you love the dj you have selected and you just know that he/she would never put you through these, make sure you submit a "Do not Play" list, just in case. You'd be surprised the requests that your dj might receive. And for the love of goodness, people, listen to the lyrics!

After The Show It's The After Party....

9 times outta 10, you've probably thrown a party before - but none like this!  I wanted to try to tackle a few of the most frequently asked questions about your after party aka RECEPTION! 

How much of my budget should I allocate for the reception?

Typically, your reception will eat up 50%-60% of your overall budget.  The biggest expense in the reception category is almost always food & beverage.  So if you're trying to save money, you should definitely consider hosting a lighter meal (like breakfast, brunch or lunch), or host an event at a non-mealtime which would allow you to serve hors d'oeuvres.

How long are most receptions?

The typical wedding reception usually lasts four to five hours. A seated dinner may last a tad bit longer than a stand up, cocktail style reception.  Generally, the later in the day a reception starts, the longer it lasts. Also take into consideration that if you have a lot of out of town guests, you may want to have the party last a little longer if possible. At the end of the day, the bride is the best judge of how long the crowd can hang out.

Who will set up the placecards and/or seating cards? Who will decorate the room the way I want it?

This will depend on the reception site and how much decorating needs to be done. Usually, your caterer or venue staff will put out your placecards and/or seating cards. If your decorations are waaaaay over the top, you definitely may want to enlist the help of a wedding coordinator or florist.  It's likely that if your decor isn't a 7 hour job, they may set things up for you at no additional cost.

If my venue allow me to bring my own wine or liquor, will that make things less expensive?

This depends on the regulations of your venue.  Usually bringing your own liquor and paying a corkage fee is most cost effective than paying the caterer's premium price. However, those savings come at a logistical price. Your caterer may require that you bring own beverages to the event chilled and ready for use. If you don't have the space to chill thirty bottles of wine, the savings might not be worth the headache.

Will there be limitations on the kind of decor that I have can?

Most reception venues will not allow you to attach anything to their walls that will cause damage.  This means no tape, nails, staples or adhesives.  When my husband & I got married, our reception hall would not allow open flames...however, partially enclosed tealights were acceptable.  Also be aware that some venues don't allow rice, confetti, or silly string.  Never assume that any of the aforementioned will be ok with your venue prior to consulting with them.