From Anti Bride to Elated Bride

This is a blog entry that came to me while thinking about how I went from wedding rookie to contributor for a bridal magazine.

In 2002, I was pushed into the wide world of weddings. Growing up I’d only attended a handful of weddings. Of course, I’d seen fairytale-inspired ceremonies on television and in movies. That was basically the most exposure to weddings I’d gotten... and really wanted at the time. But in 2002, oh 2002, I was asked to be a bridesmaid. The bride was a friend that I’d met in our freshman year of high school and have been close with since. There was no way I could turn my homie down. Since backing out wasn’t an option for me, I was lead to the Internet for a crash course on Weddings 101.

While doing research on weddings, I was bombarded by images of bridal gowns, bouquets and veils. It was natural for me to envision myself as one of the brides in those pictures. At first thought, however, I didn’t like what I saw. The everyday me loved blue jeans, underground Hip-Hop, indie movies, tattoos and sportsbar cuisine. I’d feel awkward drowning in layers of tulle draping over a puffy princess gown with a train long enough for the wedding party to surf on. That’s not ME but that’s what a BRIDE looks like, right? Was it possible for me to fit the uniform of a bride without being miserable on the Big Day? Seven years ago, I would have answered that question with a no. Back then weddings seemed like torture for everyone involved. People would get dressed in clothes they’d normally never wear and participated in impersonal wedding rituals because that's what they were supposed to do.

In addition to the honor of being a bridesmaid for my friend, the entire experience of being in a wedding led to many ideas for when I walked down the aisle in the future. By the time my sweetheart proposed in 2004, the decision to be the bride that I wanted to be was in place. With the support of friends and other brides-to-be at ChocolateBrides.com, I realized that every wedding doesn’t have to be the same. If we liked it then include it in the wedding, if we didn’t like it then nix it; simple as that! For the first time I realized that weddings can be personalized just like any other event while remaining just as sacred as traditional ceremonies. Our ceremony would include a sand pouring, basic vow recital, exchanging rings and jumping the broom. We didn’t feel a need to include any dancers, poems, soloists or lengthy readings just because we saw it beautifully done in other weddings. Our reception centered around celebrating because that’s the kind of people we are. My then fiancé and I felt our parents and grandparents deserved to see us look like a ‘real bride and groom’, so we wore actual wedding attire. However, I optioned for an A-line satin gown sans a train, an embellished bolero jacket and a single layered veil which draped down my back only. For dinner and dance time I was certain to emanicipate my body from any restrictive clothing, so I changed into a breezy chiffon gown. Yes, I noticed odd looks and comments when I mentioned some details of our wedding to others. None of that mattered to me and my husband-to-be. For us, the plans were just as perfect as any of the fairytale weddings on television.

On the Big Day while in the dressing room of the venue, I looked at myself in full bridal gear and was stunned speechless. I saw a happy BRIDE in that mirror but I also saw a happy ME in that mirror.